Blogmas Day 3: Dealing with Relatives at Christmas

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Step one of dealing with relatives at Christmas is drinking. If you do step one properly you won’t need any of the other steps; but I do understand that some don’t drink and may actually want to remember Christmas Day.

Step two depends on the size of the family gathering; if it’s a large one with family members you get on with, then form a gathering within a gathering. Create a smaller party in another room or a corner and huddle together for as long as you can avoid talking to your dreaded aunt/grandma/distant cousin you’re not sure you’re actually related to but you know you don’t like.

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Step three: pretend to be really really interested in your presents/the telly. Just act as if the Queen’s Speech is so riveting that you can’t listen to your Grandma talk about your lack of significant other while your Grandpa snores in the background.

Now step four is a stolen trick of my Dad’s; fake a nap. If you can’t escape to “nap” somewhere solitary then faking sleep on the sofa is the next best thing.

And if all else fails take a little bit of joy in the disapproval of your relatives, like a true badass does… and then take a long shower to wash the “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” and “what are you doing with your life?” questions off and go to bed.

Happy National Roof Over your Head Day! Take a moment to buy a sausage roll for someone who doesn’t have a roof over their head today.

Now go and open your advent calendar!

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