Hello people of the internet!
I’m back with some more embarrassing anecdotes for you!
After the bruise from my tumble off the train had faded, my body decided that another mortification on a locomotive was necessary.
As you probably guessed, much like many of my stories this begins on a train.
Returning from my brother’s 21st birthday celebrations in London, I had the lovely experience of travelling first class. It was one of those whimsical days when the first class ticket was cheaper than a standard.
So I plopped myself in my comfy chair, settled in to watch Killing Eve on my laptop, and drank several of those complementary glasses of wine that they give you in first class.
After I while I obviously needed to pee, so I stumbled to the bathroom (which was huge and smelled of cherries for some random reason).
So I’m sitting there, doing my business when almost in slow motion the door starts to open.
In pure panic I realise I have to do something but because the bathroom is so big I have to get up, jeans and pants around ankles, to attempt to shut it.
But in my drunken state I just ended up bottomless, framed in the door of the bathroom and reflected in the window of the train, staring at a strange man in a business suit who was old enough to be my dad.
And that’s the story of how a strange man saw my entire vagina on a train.
Somehow, he was more embarrassed than me.
Happy No Beards Day! I don’t celebrate this personally, I like a man who can be confused with a viking if you squint.