And this week on Hoarders…


So a few nights ago I decided that it was time for a good clear out. After years of back and forth between boarding school, college, then uni my room was beginning to resemble the inside of my handbag, so I decided to nip it in the bud and clean my room.

I put on Ab Fab, resisted the urge to drink G&Ts with Eddy and Patsy and set about gutting my bedroom. Now, before I begin, there’s something you need to understand about young Lucy, who most of the junk belonged to- she was weird. Not “oh isn’t it cute, she likes fairies and mermaids” weird, “but wanted to be a witch,” “went through a goth phase at 9,” “tried to breed woodlice one time” weird.

In my throwing-out Odyssey through my younger self’s hoarding problem, I found a massive jar of sand, and my first thought was ‘I hope whatever I kept in here is dead.’ (Still haven’t opened it and no one in my family has been brave enough so far)

Then I found a really ornate Chinese jewellery box that I got when I was younger, which I remembered keeping my most prized possessions in, but I lost the key- a quick trip to dad’s workshop and a dance with a hacksaw later, and voila! The box was open! Would you like to know what was in it?

Pokemon cards. And 2ps equal to about 20p. Young Lucy’s most prized possessions were Pokemon cards that I didn’t even know how to play with and 20p in small change…

So 4 bins bags, 4 bags of recyclable clothes, and a massive bag for the charity shop and I still have 1 drawer, and 2 Ikea bags to sort through. If I ever mention buying anything on a blog ever again, yell at me in the comments. But for right now I am pleased to announce that I can see my bedroom floor for the time being, so we’re doing ok.

Have to rush off now because my cousins, aunt and uncle, and my nanna are arriving in a few minutes.

Stay tuned for a probable rant about my grandmother’s “nannerisms.” Like mixing up the genders of my pets, eating a scone just before tea, as well as forgetting to ask me about my term abroad in Canada but remembering to ask about my nails and hair. Joy.

Happy National Crayon Day! Feel free to yell at your children for embracing it!


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