Single Pringle’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

Hello m’dears!

I am somehow always single on Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be my birthday.

But this year, instead of spending Valentine’s Day like this:

Or this…

…or this

I have decided that I will pass on all the advice I have to not end up drunk on tequila, crying in the shower over the Notebook.

Like all of my stories this shall be told in Parks and Rec gifs.

Valentine’s Day is a time when being single is probably the most difficult. Christmas and Easter are family focused holidays, but Valentine’s is couple centric.

Not only is it a holiday that single pringles cannot partake in, it’s as if every possible venue in the known world is filled with couples snogging on every available surface for the sole purpose of making you feel alone.

(Trust me, getting a table in a restaurant on my birthday is on a par with finding money on the ground, rare).

So without further ado, my advice!

People say you shouldn’t wallow, but wallowing is a great way to stop yourself bottling your feelings up. Being a happy and sane person isn’t the absence of sadness, it’s just not keeping it all inside; if it’s inside you, it’s always present.

So if you feel like wallowing, wallow. Eat ice cream, drink wine, listen to sad songs, let yourself be sad for a while, but after that comedown, do something that cheers you up, which brings me on to my next piece of advice.

Chill.

Now I am an expert at chilling. I was born without the capability to chill, ask anyone, it especially annoys my mother. And if I can teach my crazy ass how to chill, I can definitely teach you. The trick is to make yourself feel like you’re doing something.

Paint, clean, sort out your Netflix list, change your sheets, go demon hunting; whatever you want. Then sit. Sitting is important.

Get some food, healthy or not, but it should be something you like – we’re being good to ourselves here – and watch something on TV.

Get a ton of blankets, cushions and cosy snuggly jammies, eat some food and watch Grace and Frankie. Let the genius and comic brilliance that is Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda do its magic. But without any guilt, because you’ve already done something from the list above.

Watch it until you’re angry like Grace or high like Frankie and remember that Valentine’s Day is only one day of the year, and that having a day for couples doesn’t make being single bad. If you want, spend the day celebrating love that isn’t romantic. Buy your friend a present, cook your mum dinner, cuddle your dog a bit tighter, run yourself a bath and be happy in yourself.

Besides, between you and me, being single is pretty awesome.

Sleeping like a starfish, peeing with the door open, making a meal and having leftovers (or seconds), reading until stupid o’clock because there’s no one to keep awake with the light. People treat being single as being alone, when it’s really not.

I mean Beyonce wrote a song about it, so you know it’s awesome.

May we all be as awesome and happy as Donna!

Happy Promise Day my fellow singletons! I promise that if you follow these rules and you order pizza, you’ll cheer right up!