January Birchbox

Hello lovely friends!

It’s time for the final Birchbox review before I cancel my subscription!

As usual the box was pretty, the stuff inside was good, but I’m just adding useless items that I’ll never use to my makeup collection because I either already have a better version or it’s a product I don’t use.

(If you don’t have too much time that’s basically the gist of… well all of my Birchbox reviews…)

First I tried the Lord & Berry Blusher Crayon in Camelia (£15)

This was actually a full-size product but I didn’t love it; it blended nicely and I imagine it would stay put because it’s a crayon not a powder. But I already have a favourite blusher, NARS Orgasm, which doesn’t require a sharpener. There isn’t anything especially wrong with this blusher, it just isn’t the one I would recommend if someone asked me what blusher they should buy.

Next I tried the Marcelle Waterproof Eyeliner in Charcoal (£10.99)

Now my initial impression of this was that it looked a little cheap, and since I think pencil eyeliners from Poundland work just as well as the high end ones, I didn’t find this impressive considering that if I wanted to buy it again it would set me back £10.99. To charge that much for an eyeliner it’d better give me a massage and sing me a song as I apply my makeup.

The product was fine; it did exactly what eyeliner is meant to do, but it looked a little grey to me, and I’m not a fan of grey on my eyes because I already look tired without trying. There’s nothing wrong with this product but it’s nothing special.

Next I tried the Charlotte Mensah Manketti Hair Oil (£42)

I used to use hair oil religiously; I have weird af hair. You’ve heard of combination skin? Well I have *drumroll* combination hair! Which is maddeningly both greasy and dry, so I used to forgo hair conditioner in favour of putting hair oils on the ends of my greasy mop. Then I discovered Aussie leave-in conditioner and I never looked back. This oil was nice, it didn’t really leave a smell or anything, but it didn’t change my life.

And for 42 pounds it should be made of actual gold. If you value your hard-earned money, don’t buy this; there are better products which do more for less money.

Those who have tried Birchbox will know how ridiculously tiny some of their testers can be but the Benefit POREfessional Pearl Primer (£26) looked like something the Borrowers would think was too small.

I mean, really?

I am already a fan of Benefit’s primers but I didn’t think this brightened my skin up that much. Having said that, between my lack of sleep and vampiric paleness it had its job cut out for it. I would recommend buying this but layering it on top of your foundation before you set your makeup with a powder to really make the most of the brightening affects.

£26 is a lot of money but Benefit primers last a long time because you don’t need much of the product…I’m still a tiny bit vexed over how small this tester is though.

The final product in the box was Afterspa’s Amazing Makeup Remover (£5.50)

Now this boasts being able to remove all of your makeup with just water. As a busy person and a lazy person, this product is my dream. However, you have to machine wash it before it’ll work…and as we’ve already established I am hella busy and hella lazy so I haven’t had time to wash it yet, but if it works, at £5.50? I will once and for all truly believe in magic.

It’s like they know I’m cancelling! The box was especially pretty this time round and it even came with stickers.

Stickers! I love stickers and these are so pretty; one is already covering the webcam on my computer in case the NSA want to watch me eat pringles and fall asleep watching Grace and Frankie.

Ah Birchbox, we had a good run but you just ended up annoying me. I really enjoyed getting a present from me to me every month though so if you have any suggestions for subscription boxes, beauty or otherwise, please leave a comment!

Happy Dress Up Your Pet Day! Remember they probably already hate you but can’t kill you because you feed them.